Do you ever feel like you are spinning your wheels? Punishing your kids for the same things over and over again, with little or no results? Always starting sentences with, “I said…” Well, I’m sorry to have to be the one to bring this up, but, how’s that workin’ for ya’?
I started disciplining my kids when they were babies. Yes, I’m talking like 6 months old. I know, you’re thinking to yourself, what’s wrong with this psycho? ‘Au contraire Mon frere’! (On the contrary) Thus the reason I am so sane today! When my kids would touch something,or go somewhere they weren’t supposed to, there was a consequence..every time! I know it’s tiring, and you think it’s easier to just say..”Oh, how cute!” Well, let me enlighten you with a thought. It’s not gonna be so cute when they are looking at you at 13 and saying, “Yes, I am going to the mall..you can’t tell me what to do…It’s my life!” Not so cute, huh? I’m just sayin’…
I am not saying that I beat my kids, or shoved bamboo shoots under their fingernails, but I made sure it was a punishment that was going to change the behavior, and it had to be consistent!
What would promote change in your kids? You know them better than anyone, so who better suited to decide but you? As a mom, we have to have a game plan. You know, ‘if you fail to plan, you plan to fail’. Look at them..what would affect them the most? I tell moms all the time…it’s gotta hurt. If it doesn’t hurt, you’re wasting your time and theirs. I’m not always talking about physical pain. What will affect your child to change?
How about you try this one on for size..how do they receive love most affectively? Do they love spending quality time with you? Do they love to cuddle? Is it an encouraging word, or when you do something special for them? I have always punished my kids according their language of love.
My oldest gets her love tank filled by hearing how proud I am of her, or when I spend quality time with her. When she was younger, the best most effective punishment was to firmly tell her how disappointed I was, and to send her to bed early by herself. I know, you’re thinking, that’s it? Big deal! That’s not a punishment! For her, it was. It changed the behavior. My middle daughter, however, is a cuddler…loves to hug, always has her arm around me. A good old-fashioned spanking worked wonders for her! The little one is the life of the party. She loves to be around people, so separating her from the group was like Chinese water torture. It promoted change..that’s the goal here, Mom!
As they get older, punishments will change. You know, taking the phone away, grounding, etc…and if you did your job early on, these punishments should work. It’s all preventative maintenance! It’s like working 80 hours a week so you can experience early retirement. Even when you retire, there is some maintenance work to be done, but basically you can breathe. So, don’t give in, be consistent, let the punishment fit the crime, be effective, and watch your investments work for you!